SPFPP Episode 177: Reality Does Not Anchor Assumptions

There's a resistance doctors have against herpes testing that expands beyond North America. Way over in New Zealand we learn that there's also resistance by avoidance and misinformation altogether. J, our guest, shares her experience navigating the medical community's resistance to testing as well as talk about how her boundariliessness in relationships led to her conforming to partners' desires.

Highlights/notes below:

Split with partner and feels like now she’s single and realizes she now HAS to deal with this DURING the pandemic 2 weeks before lockdown happened

Lives in New Zealand

Conversations “In here” vs conversations “Out there”

Being boundariless makes us conform to the boundaries of others or lack thereof

Understand what’s yours and what’s your partners’

Covid conversations parallel STI conversations “Is this person worth getting COVID from?”

Assumptions have no anchor in reality

Stigma makes this diagnosis troubling because we’re not connected to it until we’re connected to it.

Misinformation from credible sources “Just wear condoms” “Don’t have sex during outbreaks” 

Well my Doctor said . . .

Dr resistance to testing due to the trauma of a possible positive result

Connecting people to accurate, consistent information is a challenge against all the misinformation

The world’s worst herpes joke at 35 minutes lol. This is awful ya’ll. I mean really bad.

The tickling analogy from Melissa Carnagey of Sex Positive Families how consent violating kids grow to consent violating adults

Sexual Health and Mental health are interconnected. The skeleton of body autonomy and “no” serve as the skeleton of sexual health conversations