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Herpes Disclosure Workshop Review
I was diagnosed last week with HSV-2. I was mortified, and the gut punch was indescribable. It was even harder because (2 years after being in a worthless 5-year relationship), I met a guy who I think is wonderful, and I’ve been dating him for 3 months. We’ve been talking about moving to the next step—discussing a relationship and, with that, a level of intimacy—and so I went to get tested. First, imagine the feelings when hearing that positive result, and then that feeling compounded, knowing that I needed to share this with the guy I’m dating.
I cried. I felt worthless. I felt rejected. I felt like I was no longer valuable. I felt like no one would ever want to be with me again or love me. I felt like I would have to be alone. I researched and read and read and read. I was even afraid to look at websites about STIs, as if someone would know I was looking and find out about me and this diagnosis. I mean, insane. Even my son could see the despair on my face, and while I didn’t share my diagnosis with him, in that very moment, I told him that if I didn’t have the strength that I have, I would feel like I’d want to commit suicide. I’ve been through enough in life. The intense fear I was experiencing was unreal.
Then I stumbled upon SPFPP.
I read about your organization, I watched the recordings, I checked out your Instagram—and you may think this sounds crazy—but Courtney, my friend, as quickly as that diagnosis felt like it took my life from me, you and your work handed it right back to me.
Instantly, I didn’t feel alone. I became filled with confidence in myself again, and in how that matters more than this diagnosis. This doesn’t change who I am. I am bigger than this. I deserve every happiness and love that there is to have. I am a whole wonderful me outside of having herpes. I read the excerpts you posted on Instagram from others who’ve had to disclose, and the daunting burden of disclosure has eased 100-fold.
I am ready and empowered for this conversation. Most importantly, I am not scared to have this conversation—because doing the right thing will never be the wrong thing, no matter how it turns out for me and him.
With so much gratitude,
—Anonymous