Episode 29 Part 2: Taking Back Control - Expressive Kink
*TRIGGER WARNING for sexual abuse survivors - Here's part 2: Lauren is a sexual abuse survivor. In this episode, she shares how her view of sex was shaped by her for her at a young age. Lauren and I discussed this off air and she's at a place where she is comfortable revisiting the event. We spoke more in detail off the podcast and mutually decided to remove/leave out certain details of the abuse.
We discuss kink's role in Lauren's sex life as a means to take back the control that was taken from her by her abuser.
"You're safer with ME than you are with someone who doesn't have it". (Referring to herpes) This is a powerful belief for someone so new to their diagnosis! Own the power in KNOWING your sexual health status! You are more mindful of your health while you do have an sti than someone who DOESN'T KNOW if they have one. I've talked to people who say they don't have an sti although they don't get tested often. The people I talk to who DO have an sti get tested regularly. Interesting dynamic here because you'd think it would be the other way around. Thing is, it usually isn't a problem until it's a problem.
Sex education and communication is so important! This episode highlights the importance of how our sexual education early on translates into our behavior with anyone we have a sexual attraction to. It is uncomfortable to have that conversation but it's one that needs to be had. Someone will plant that seed of what sex is and should be, why not let it be a healthy message? At least if it's watered by sexual experiences over time, porn and stories from other people, that deep rooted seed planted with a healthy perspective helps our youth over time develop into something loving that continues that messaging. Thing is, we have to just be willing to have the conversation.
We recorded this episode January 22, 2018 just 2 months after Lauren's diagnosis. The reason these episodes took so long was just for editing as this is sensative content. We wanted to be sure to remove certain details of Lauren's story and I suck at editing.
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